Wow, two posts in one weekend!  Well, today I decided to continue on in trying to make this a more productive weekend rather than just one filled with me sitting in my room doing nothing, so I made the plan of walking down to the part of town that's close to my college and go into the local Starbucks down there.  Of course, I couldn't help but take pictures of my walk on the way there, as it's starting to look more and more like fall:

Once I got downtown, I was about to walk over to Starbucks, but then I noticed that... they had a Dollar Tree!  I knew they had one somewhere, but I didn't know it was this close!  So, naturally, I had to take a look inside.  It wasn't actually that impressive.  Just your run of the mill Dollar Tree.  Ours at home is actually a little better, in my opinion, but it was still fun to look around.  I found a reeeally cute bar soap dish that's in the same light shade of blue that I want to design my future bathroom around!  Unfortunately, I didn't have any money with me aside from my Starbucks gift card, and I think Mom will agree with my on this one that I have enough home decor things for now, especially for someone who doesn't even have her own home yet.  Haha!  Still, it's nice to know that, in case I ever need to go there, there's a Dollar Tree conveniently close by.

I finally made my way into Starbucks, and it was pretty busy inside, so I quickly sat at the closest empty table I could find.  I pulled out my library copy of If I Stay that my mother had sent me yesterday and started reading for a bit, since I wasn't quite hungry yet.  After awhile, though, I got the feeling that the employees wanted me to buy me something, as they kept shooting me suspicious glances.  Or maybe that's just my natural paranoia.  Anyway.  I have this weird thing about using a Starbucks gift card where I really only want to use it on visits that count, like when I'm already having a good day or it's a nice drizzly or snowy day outside, perfect for taking shelter in a Starbucks and getting a hot chocolate.  I don't like to spend my gift card if I'm already not in a great mood, and even though at first I wasn't in that terrible of a mood, I still felt uneasy about how crowded it was.  I almost decided to save it for a better day, but thought better of it and went to get in line anyway.

I ordered a pumpkin bread and a tall hot chocolate - as usual - and, aside from an awkward conversation with the cashier that was only mildly scarring, this wasn't going half bad.  I got my pumpkin bread right away and sat back at my table and waited for my hot chocolate... and waited... and waited... and waited.  I started reading from my book again to pass the time, but I was starting to get anxious.  It felt like it was taking way too long just for a hot chocolate.  I kept my eyes on the employee who was putting drinks on the bar and kept my ears open for her to call, "Tall hot chocolate!"  She eventually did call a tall hot chocolate, and I perked right up as I went to go get it.... only to have some guy come in and take it.  I wondered to myself if if he had taken what should've been my hot chocolate, thinking it was his, or if it really was his and the employees had forgotten about me.  I felt pretty beaten up.  I decided to just stand there by the counter and inform someone of the situation, so I stood.  And stood.  And stood.  I made sure to stand slightly closer to the counter to let the employees know that I wasn't just waiting for a drink order, and I even tried my best to make eye contact with them and let them know that I wanted to ask a question.  I stood there, awkwardly waiting for assistance for so long, I felt so uncomfortable and stupid and helpless.  The employee by the counter set down another drink - not mine - and I quickly dove in at the opportunity and tried to tell her, "I ordered a hot --."  That was as far as I got before she quickly turned around, acting like she didn't hear my even though we made eye contact.  REALLY?  I felt so defeated.  I was so close to just giving up and going because this seemed useless.

One of the employees just then, who I tried making eye contact with earlier, was done with her shift and standing next to me.  I tried making eye contact with her yet again to hint to her that I needed help, but she was still pretty oblivious.  Finally, I had to play the whole helpless shy person card and whisper, "Excuse me..." to the other employee behind the counter, who was still acting like I didn't exist.  That seemed to do it for the employee standing next to me, and she asked, "Do you need help with something?"  I told her I had ordered a hot chocolate a long time ago, and she got the attention of the employee behind the counter - because they always pay attention to each other - and asked them to make me a hot chocolate.  I gave the girl an immensely grateful smile (even though silently I was still so irritated that it took this long), and once the employee behind the counter finished my hot chocolate, I gave him a grateful smile as well and went back to my table.

I was still feeling pretty lousy, and I almost started crying right there at the table.  I don't know what it was, but feeling so forgotten and invisible like that just made me want to cry, and I guess what I'm getting to is that it also made me extremely homesick.  Back home at my regular Starbucks that me and Mom always go to, and where we're considered regulars by the people who work there, this never would've happened.  I never would've been made to stand there awkwardly for ten minutes, waiting for someone to even acknowledge me.  Back at my Starbucks, I would stand there at the counter and someone would immediately ask, "Do you need help with anything?" and they would apologize profusely and get me my hot chocolate with a warm smile on their face and they'd tell me to have a nice day and I would be so overwhelmed by their kindness.  You kind of feel like family there sometimes.  You're never left forgotten or made to feel like you don't matter.  I understand that maybe I just came into this Starbucks on a bad day, but I still miss my Starbucks back home with its regular employees I know, sitting there having a conversation with Mom over our steaming drinks.  I've been feeling homesick a lot lately.  And it doesn't help that I wanted to go home either this weekend or next weekend, but I can't.  This next weekend I'm left with bathroom duty in our dorm.  I know that technically I could just get it done early and still be able to go back home, but I also want to stick it out until Halloween weekend because I'd really love to spend Halloween at home.  So, that leaves three more weeks until I go home.  Hopefully these weeks will pass by quickly like the past two seemed to have done.

Well, on that homesick note, I think I'll mope around on the internet for a little bit more, then eventually get off and hopefully finish my story for Fiction Writing.

Goodnight,
x Danielle.

P.S.
I finished the second half of If I Stay in one sitting while in the main lounge earlier today, and it was so good!  I can't believe I just got the book yesterday and I've already flown through it.