Lazy blogger, Portland, & Older Siblings,

2:36 PM

I'm finally writing in this again!  Sorry for being MIA these past two weeks.  I went on vacation with Mom and my sister last week, so there wasn't any time to write in this then, plus I just haven't had the motivation to write since I got back.  I'm still not as into a writing mood as I would like to be.  I know, I am a terrible, lazy blogger.



There isn't a whole lot to say about the trip since we were only gone for three days.  The backstory behind the trip is fairly interesting.  Earlier in the school year when I had my first Creative Nonfiction Writing class, I heard my professor mention Powell's Books, which apparently is the largest independent book store in the world.  So naturally, me being a booklover, I perked up at this and knew I had to go to visit it for myself at the next chance I got.  A couple of months later as Spring quarter was coming to an end, I still hadn't forgotten about Powell's and told Mom about wanting to take a little trip down to Portland to go visit it.  She thought that was a great idea, and so we kept the trip in our minds and two weeks ago we finally made the trip happen.  Only took us until August, but to be fair this summer has been pretty eventful!  The trip was originally supposed to be just me and Mom, but then we told my sister about the trip and since she's on break from work being a teacher, she thought it would be fun to come along, too.  At first I thought it would be really fun.  A girl's trip down to Portland.  Unfortunately, it wasn't as fun as I anticipated.  The trip didn't start off great.  With my sister in the front seat chatting it up with my Mom and me stuck in the back where no one acknowledged me other than the one time we pulled up to a rest stop and my mom asked if I needed to go to the bathroom, I pretty much felt invisible.  Seriously, the entire trip down there, I sat in silence in the back seat.  I mean, I know that it's pretty hard to be included in the conversation when you're stuck in the back seat, but it still hurt.  Me being in the backseat might as well have been a foreshadowing for the rest of the trip, where I felt like I was the one who was tagging along instead of my sister.  It doesn't help that my sister has a pretty extroverted personality, so it's easy for her to butt in and take charge of a conversation.  And no matter what, I feel like whenever I'm in the presence of my sister, she just has to come across as the more "adult" one and treat me like I'm a child.  So throughout the entire trip, I felt like she was sucking up to Mom, trying to include herself in conversations to make herself seem more mature, while doing her best to push me out of the conversation and make condescending side comments to me every now and then, as if to remind me that she's the adult and I'm still the child.  Ugh, I hate that about her.  It seriously annoys me so much, how she acts like the little brown-noser and like she's so much more grown up and superior.  And good god, since we were in Portland, which apparently has a lot of breweries around, she could not stop talking about different wines and alcoholic drinks and - jeeze - wine tasting.  When we first got to Portland and were looking around the information center for any interesting pamphlets, I started talking about wine tasting and how I thought it sounded like the most boring thing on Earth and something that only pretentious people like.  I was mostly just venting another irritation of mine - totally not related to my sister - but in the back of my mind I wondered to myself, I wonder if that's something ___ likes.  Sure enough, my sister perked up and asked, "Are you talking about me?"  HA.  WHY DOES THAT NOT SURPRISE ME.  Something completely boring that only pretentious people would like because they think it'll make them seem more refined and mature.

Okay, let's pause on the whole my-sister-is-so-aggrevating thing for a sec to actually talk about the trip to Powell's.  I gotta say, I had a different picture in my mind of what Powell's looked like: a book paradise that, as soon as you walked in, you were overwhelmed by the rows of bookcases and the number of books that filled each one, like you walk in and its a sort of wonderful book chaos for bibliophiles like myself.  I also imagined something that more resembled a used book store.  Like more old-fashioned, made of the darker kind of wood that comes from a used bookstore rather than the lighter modern wood they have nowadays.  The darker wood, you see, makes it more cozy and comforting.  It makes you feel safe.  Lighter wood is too bright and makes you feel like you're in an Ikea ad or something.  And for some reason, even though it's kind of this big attraction, I imagined some place quiet.  Not a sound, aside from the occasional creak of the floorboard as you're exploring deeper and deeper into the labyrinth.  There's something almost mystical about these kinds of bookstores.  I don't know why exactly I had all these expectations in my head, but I did.  When I walked into Powell's, though, I felt all of these expectations drop and I sort of deflated.  Even though it is a new and used bookstore, walking in it didn't feel like it had the charm of an independent bookstore.  It looked more like a Barnes & Noble or some other generic bookstore chain.  The front room was pretty large and open, with a couple of tables that had books on display, and still other books on display around the room on these sort of racks so that their front covers could proudly be shown.  It was your typical layout - current bestsellers on one table, new and interesting reads on another, etc. etc.  So far, I wasn't too impressed.  From what I'd gathered about Powell's, you could  walk through and spend hours and hours there and get lost.  I didn't get the same impression.  I basically wandered around the two same sections - YA Lit and general Literature - and it was easy for me to be done within, like, a half hour.  It had two floors, with equally spaced bookshelves and sections that were clearly labeled and organized.  It wasn't exactly that complicated and not like the kind of lost I was used to with most other independent bookstores.  Walking through and trying to find books to purchase for myself, I really didn't see as much of a selection as I would've liked.  It felt very much like a Barnes and Noble, with only the newest editions of books and most popular titles.  I didn't find any rare gems or anything like that, unfortunately.  And besides that, I had two other complaints:
1) It seemed like most of the books were only available in paperback!  Erg, I despise paperback!  There were some books that I totally would've wanted to buy, but they weren't available in hardcover, and I refuse to buy a book if it's not available in hardcover.  Disappointing...

2) Too pricey.  I know that I'm a total cheapskate and that goes for books, too.  Especially being in a bookstore where I may want to buy 2, 3, 4, or 5+ books, I can't afford each of those books to be $17.99!  I also think in terms of buying books at Half.com.  Half.com is the best place to shop for books, because there are books as cheap as $0.75, and when you calculate in the $3.99 shipping, that's less than $5 per book.  Amazing deal.  AND these books are often in "very good" to "like new" condition.  It makes a big difference when you can buy a book that looks brand new for $4.75, compared to buying it at retail price in a store for 4 or 5 times that much.  I mean, I appreciate that this business is trying to keep bookstores alive, but you have to make these books affordable for the common folk who can't afford to spend a fortune!  If you want to keep bookstores alive, place the books at an affordable price to make people want to shop there.

3) Too crowded!  I know it's supposed to be the world's largest independent bookstore and I can't blame the business for it being a great attraction.  But agh, I hate crowds.  I hate people surrounding me and walking briskly past me, making me dizzy and uneasy and quite frankly making me want to scream and shove everyone away from me.  This is not something I'm used to dealing with when I'm normally shopping in bookstores.  Again, I'm used to quiet and tranquil, and the occasional person walking calmly behind me.  It got to the point here where I was desperate to find a tucked away place where people wouldn't bustle past me, but that didn't work out very well.  I was getting really hot and overwhelmed, so I just told my Mom and sister that I'd explored enough and was ready to leave.

Despite these complaints, though, I did manage to buy one book while I was there:  

 

Son by Lois Lowry.  The Giver is one of my all-time favorite novels and I actually loved this sequel to it, so I was really happy to be able to take it home with me :)  I think my sister was a bit annoyed that I wasn't as thrilled about Powell's, what with not liking the crowds of people and complaining about the prices and everything.  I think she thought I was yet again being a child or something like that because I didn't understand that this was an independent business that managed to make it on its own for so long and be so successful and have all these books.  Yeeeah, even though it's not that different from Barnes and Noble and even though it's not exactly independent anymore?  Because a couple days after that, on our final day in Portland, we actually stumbled upon another, much quainter Powell's that was easier for me to handle.  So yeah, Powell's may be the largest independent bookstore in the world or whatever, but it doesn't mean much of anything if it's not a truly genuine independent bookstore to me and is more like a bookstore chain in disguise.  I don't know, that's just the way I see it.  My sister thinks she knows everything and she gets annoyed with me when I don't see it her way, but I just have to inwardly roll my eyes at her.  The smaller bookstore was nice, though, and I'm glad we went.  That's where I found my second book on the trip and I'm SO glad I found it (and in hardcover, too!) because I read it just this Spring and it has immediately jumped up to my Top 5 Books list.  Can you guess which one it is?
 
If you haven't read Tell The Wolves I'm Home yet, you really need to because it is an incredible book with such a great story.  Especially for me, I connected deeply with this book because I can relate so much to the main character, June.  This book is more or less everything to me <3

Besides book shopping, we also managed to do some vintage thrift store shopping.  As much as I hate my sister's bossiness, making us hitchhike like 3 miles up to this other part of the city because she heard they had "cool stuff" up there, I have to admit that her bossiness did pay off.  There's this part of Portland that has a ton of really cool vintage thrift shops - and I mean really vintage, like a ton of stuff from the 60s, including clothes, dishes, typewriters, clocks, and more.  It was really neat going through them all and seeing all of this old stuff in perfect condition, like we walked straight into another decade.  Then we went into this other vintage store that was insane.  It has SO MANY clothes and the store went on for so long.  Just when you thought you reached the end, there would be another twist in the hallway or another room to go through.  Now there, you could definitely get lost.  I wish I had bought something from there, but I guess I saved my money for the shorts I would buy at the end of our trip before getting back into the car and heading home.  I didn't find them in a vintage thrift store, but they were still a really great find!  I've desperately been needing to buy some comfortable shorts for the summertime.  I do have these denim shorts I got around July, but I've never found denim shorts to be as comfortable.  I definitely think I'm more comfortable in fabric shorts, which is what I needed, and these shorts I found are so cute and insanely comfy.  When we went into the store the first time and I saw them, I didn't buy them because I wasn't sure and I didn't want it to be some spur-of-the-moment purchase (I felt like I'd been doing a lot of that this summer...).  But then once we left the store, I couldn't stop thinking about them.  I kept thinking if we left Oregon without me getting a change to buy those shorts, I would be really disappointed and would be kicking myself for not just buying those shorts if I really liked them.  So before we were all set to go back to the car, I dragged Mom and my sister back to the store so I could buy those shorts.  And I am so glad I went back because I'm still so in love with them and they go well with everything.  And now I finally have some good summer shorts!  I won't post a picture of them, though, because quite frankly I feel like this blog is beginning to turn into a fashion blog and that's not exactly what I want this blog to be about.  I'm starting to realize that I don't think it's necessary for me to document every single clothing purchase I make xD  

Well, that was pretty much the extent of our trip.  Of course there are other things I'm leaving out, like the yummy breakfast place we went out to eat at and the other ways my sister irritated me, but there's only so much I can retell from a vacation.  When we got back, I was still pretty annoyed, thinking about the entire trip and the fact that it was supposed to be something fun that I thought up, only for my sister to take control of it.  I decided to hole myself up in my room for awhile and steam.  I was waiting for someone - anyone - to come in and check up on me, but of course no one ever did.  I came out eventually and looked out the window to see that my sister had left without saying goodbye.  Typical her, I thought, to not say goodbye to me just like she barely acknowledged that I existed on this whole trip that was my idea in the first place.  So then I went downstairs, still irritated, wanting someone to acknowledge me, ask me where I was or what I was doing or freaking care about me.  Mom didn't seem that interested in me and I kept waiting for her to say something like, "Hey, that trip was fun!" or "Oh, your sister left, by the way."  Finally, thinking about how rude I thought my sister was on this trip and how I felt completely forgotten, I couldn't take it anymore and it burst out of me before I could help it, "Don't you think ___ was being a bit rude on this vacation?"  Mom said, "No, why?  I thought everything went great."  We migrated from the kitchen into the living room and I kept probing her for anything to make me feel like I wasn't alone in how I was feeling.  She kept saying, "I thought everything was fine, I thought we were getting along fine," and then I told her everything that had been bothering me and how I felt like my sister had taken control of everything while I was left feeling forgotten.  Then Mom said something that completely infuriated me and pretty much made me snap: *big exaggerated sigh* "I just can't deal with this anymore with you."  That's when I thought, Okay.  I'm done talking to you.  I went upstairs and, like the mature adult that I am, slammed my bedroom door as hard as I could, banged my palms against the door, grabbed my pillow and screamed and screamed into it, and threw a few random objects across the room, going back to my pillow to scream again, allowing myself the temper tantrum I needed and felt I deserved.  I just can't stand it when people don't bother to try to understand me.  I'm always tossed aside, told I Don't Have Time To Deal With This Right Now, I Don't Know What To Do With You, You're Making This Hard For Me, Why Are You Being So Difficult, or worse, You Need To Stop Being So Sensitive.  I think there was a lot of this built up over the years that I just dealt with silently until I finally couldn't take it anymore.  
So, needless to say, that wasn't a good night.

Don't worry, it did eventually get resolved.  Mom came up to my room and we had a heart to heart of sorts.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still a little bit mad at her, but it's the way it is.  Being the youngest sibling is hard.  Understatement of the year.  Since then, not a whole lot has happened.  It's been pretty boring, actually, so I don't have much else to write about.  Oh, sometime, though, me and Mom want to try to take the Sounder train down to Seattle, which we've always wanted to do but never could because it only runs on weekdays.  But since it's summer and we're both unemployed and therefore free on the weekdays, we'll finally be able to ride it!  I always loved watching the Sounder roll by on early mornings in Kent Station, when I would be on my way to class at the community college.  I loved watching the crowd of people waiting on the platform for the train to take them to work or to college.  I loved watching it roll by and seeing the people in the windows, reading the morning paper or on their laptops.  I'm so excited to ride it!  We have to get up early, though, because the only train that comes in the morning comes at 8:30 or something, and then the only other times another one comes is at 4 and 6, I think?  Once we take the train, we plan on spending the day in Seattle, so we have to take it first thing in the morning and then hopefully we'll get on the 6:00.  I'm not sure what day we'll do it, but hopefully sometime this week - tomorrow or Friday. 

Well, I think this may be where I stop.  Sorry if the ending is abrupt.  Mom wants to go down to Home Depot and then to the fire station to donate our empty fire extinguisher?  Until my next post!

x Danielle




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